Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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