I think i peed on brittanys purse
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
pop tarts are not kleenex
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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