I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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