SEEEEXXX PLEASE
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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