I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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