Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He shit in the fireplace
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
