why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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