think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
