she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
