I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
