who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
