yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
