you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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