Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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