I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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