Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize