Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
