Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
