I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
