So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
