I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize