i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
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we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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