I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
