i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
you had me at cake vodka
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
