it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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