I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
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I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
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At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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