what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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