Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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