do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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