apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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