this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
