I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
