I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Bring me that man meat
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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