so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
