remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
