The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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