This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
