You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
