He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
