That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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