I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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