If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
time to smoke my breakfast
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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