Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
