How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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