The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
