Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
