i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
