Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
