The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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