I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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