For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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