SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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