that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
