I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
