Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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