Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We had sex on a dog bed..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
