I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
